Night go around

Monday nights, went with friend go around and drink... Beacuse tmr is tuesday which is public holiday... First of all we went eat bai kut teh, after that we meet with friend at ss15 AC... At first i also blur want bring her go or not leh? Bcs she not my gf anymore... But since tmr holiday and if she free can go along lor... I am also scare that her bf argue with her... I feel like i am bad... But at the end i ask her and she said okay lor... But i know spshe like kena force go lor... Haiz.... At first we went AC and we have a lot topic... After that we next go giza... We go around and sit in house and drink and i see why she less use phone leh... Is it argue de? I ask her are you okay? Sue replied yeah i am okay... But i know the answer not okay, bcs of i ask at a lot ppl...  I might be a bad person... Bcs i still ask her to go out and until so late... Bcs of she already have bf... As i am in her bf position i also get jealous and angry... Haiz... I might still have feeling to her... But i know she only have him no me... Haiz... Maybe hats good that she forget me... Bcs i cant give her a happiness... Bcs now i think that when we both together last time... We nothing to talk... Just sms like caring such good morning, good night, eat liao ma? How are you? Doing what? Hehe? And haha? Haiz... I feel like we noth nothing much... Maybe we not open to each other bah... Or i do not have big knowlegde to share to her lor... When we meet we always argue... And when we argue we both want win so end up not good... Yes, now she have him... He have a good look than me... More intiligent... More talk to her... And also love her... I feel i am jealous with this... Bcs i feel she is the best gf that i had and she will care about my feeling and know me... The most importand she wont betray me... But i cant hold her hand and i let her go... Yes she now at other guys hand and i hope you will happy... Bcs i am not a good man... To be honest... I am not suite you... I will slowly leave you... And wish you happy... Bcs i am really bad guy, and not good for you... I last time let you go bcs of i do not have confident to let you happy... Bcs i am still cant take care of myself and i am selfish person... But i am really sorry that hurt you so deep... Make you sad, make you no safety, and make your studies become bad mark.... To be honest... Bcs of something that i done i cant face you last time... Seriously... I cant tell here... Bcs its a secret... But i know you cant forgive me of this... And i know that i wont have you back... To be honest last time we chat in whatsapp when i at jb and you send me that is it we can get back? I wanted to get back to you... I want to protect you forever... But since that i know u have bf my heart broken... I am also sad... I try to get u back but u reject me... I cant accept bcs on aug u asked me is it we can get back? This make me more love you and got chance to be with you... But end up i know that you already have bf and end up you reject me so deeply... Yes i am sad and hurt... But i still love you... But i cant be the thirt person.. Seriously... I just want you to be happy with what you choose and what you have make the way... Seriously i will bless you... Thanks so much that you have a big dream which that youw ant go sg work... Yes its a good income... But i scare you will get tired and sick... When i heart that i feel want ask you to live in kl.... But now i cant ask you to leave bcs i a, not your important person... Haiz.... I am really make you changes... Yeah as u said you become mature... But i feel last time you more good and cute... Now you likes so different... I likes your friendlyness and kind heart... As i know you with all friends are good... I feel you are a wonderfull girl and happy girl... Until i hurts you, you are changes... Yes changes are good, but must see change to be good or bad... For now yes i still cant forget you and i know your heart cant to be love me anymore... As words have said when you hurt someone once deeply its will stick it.... Cant to be forget... Haiz... I also regret what i have done and i had spoken to you... Haiz... I hope you understand me and forgive me what i have hurt you.... Btw Jesus love you and Jesus with you always...
I want sleep de... Good nights....

Anton Winoto