Now i know

I remember why last time my brother keep sleeping... I think i have get same feeling with him... Broken heart.... Its really hurt.... When you sleep u wont think about it... And want keep sleep forever... I just nw at office i am really tired and feel unhappy then i go to my office just lying on the floor and sleep... I sleep until 1 hour and my dad wake me up and i keep feeling do not want to wale up... When i woke up i am really feel empty... Like u in the mountain a lot of tree and no one it there... I keep silince dont knw why i do not feel wan to talk... My dad keep saying about me and i just silince and do not want to talk... Am i really change? Am i really happy with this? Am i really gila? Haiz.... How gone thru this? I am really get the pain very deep... Now i am 23 years old... I seriously get very deeply hurt by this relationship... Pass time i hurt bcs of i fail my subject, cant go out with friends, cant buy my games. Now i am really pain for few months.... But this month really really very very serious to me.... I like crying everyday until my yan lei mei le... What i am really want ne? A partner to keep me happy? A future wife? Haiz.... I also want get back my strong anton! Now my mum get sick and i cant feel down and let them worry about me.... Yeah i not cry infront of them... But i might know that i have a problem with mag.... My mum ask me hw was her? I said she was good... My mum asked me is it you want get back with her? I silence and think should i tell my mum she already had bf? At the end i just told my mum that she already had a partner and her bf in jb... When i said this i feel hurt... Dont know why? Is it i am still love her? Or jealous?
I hope that i can close my eyes and do not open back my eyes until the hurt hilang... Or Jesus bring me to your heaven let me see there and the hell how its look likes? Now out of sudden, i feel that human in the world just few years after we die we just have two way to go which is heaven or hell. If we are follow by Jesus, HE will lead us to the true of the way to the Heaven! If we do not listen and obey HIM and follow the world we will get the punishment! Which want we want to choose? After we have leave the world we will forget who is your wife husband child and friends! So lets praise to the Lord to the King of King name JESUS!!!

Now i am feeling better... I just feel to let go and give her a bless and pray her to get happiness and wanted to let her must keep going to church and do not leave our God name JESUS!

Antonwinoto brother!